Gambit of the Gods Read online

  “But it’s much more than that, isn’t it?” Wilde says flatly, stepping closer to her, his eyes searching hers. “I don’t think you’re the one in control at all. In the scenario you just gave us, the beings from another world are the gods. You’re just another piece in their game.”

  For the first time since I’ve known her, I see real fury kindle in Malyse’s eyes.

  “You’re a fool,” she hisses, her face inches from his. “You think I’d let anyone control me? I decide! The game is mine alone! I am no one’s puppet!”

  She clears her throat and steps back, visibly reining in her anger.

  “There was a time,” she continues, her voice seductively low, “when I thought you and I were two of a kind. I thought you were as wild and untamed as your name. We understood that we could take what we wanted and no one could stop us. And what we wanted above all else was each other, all the time.”

  Wilde swallows hard, feeling the unbridled sexual desire she unleashes for a moment before shuttering her emotions up again as if to torment him.

  “But I was wrong,” she whispers, her eyes never leaving his. “You are weak, a pawn for the taking just like anyone else. You could have reigned at my side, but now everyone you love will fall, and you’ll be powerless to save them.”

  Fear dawns in Wilde’s eyes. He opens his mouth to plead with her, but she disappears. He concentrates for a moment, searching for her, then shakes his head.

  “She’s managed to cloak her whereabouts again,” he sighs, finally looking at me. “We’d best go after our Chosen.”

  “She mentioned that she approached you with some sort of offer recently. Why didn’t you tell me?”

  He turns back to me, his mental shields not quick enough to mask the rush of guilt, fear and shame he feels.

  “Because I was afraid you would look at me the way you’re looking at me now,” he says sadly. “Like you think I still have feelings for her. But all I feel for her is revulsion. Now that I’ve seen the ruthless, murderous, twisted thing that is her soul, I can’t believe I ever wanted her. That’s what she wanted, I think. She knew we would never join her, but she thought pitting us against each other and eroding your trust in me might break us apart. And I fell for it, like the fool she says I am.”

  I sense the bitter chagrin in his heart and send out tendrils of love and comfort.

  “Well, she failed then. I know the man you are. I know your love for me is true.”

  He closes his eyes and bows his head, feeling unworthy. At last, he opens his eyes. The intensity of the love in their depths makes my heart tremble.

  “I don’t deserve you,” he groans, his heart reaching for mine like a drowning man reaches for aid. “But I hope I can spend the rest of my existence showing you how much I love you, Sera.”

  We embrace for a long, wonder-filled moment, at last pulling away unwillingly.

  “What happened to Kella?” he asks in grave concern.

  “I’ll tell you when we get there,” I reply, and together we travel to where our Chosen are.

  Chapter 30: Little Squirrel

  At last you are asleep, Little Squirrel, a familiar mind-voice says behind me. Turning around, I see Mah’ue standing there, his gorgeously colored wings arcing like a rainbow behind him. The great cliff overlooking the valley where my Village nestles is spread behind and below him, as before.

  He doesn’t wait for my reply, but instead says with a note of urgency in his voice, I know why you have been having headaches, and I think I have a way to free you from your captors. Come fly with me. He leaps from the edge.

  I feel the hot, tingling feeling that heralds the Change, surprised it can still happen here in this dream-place. Delight bubbles up within me. How I’ve longed to take to the winds and soar up among the clouds, to feel my feathers catch every updraft of air, carrying me higher and higher still. So I abandon myself to it, leaping after him.

  The moment when my body hangs in the air before I feel my wings lifting me up on invisible columns of air is one of stark panic. Then I watch Mah’ue and follow his lead. He spirals upward, his quartet of wings tilted a certain way; then spirals slowly downward, his wings tilted for descent. This body knows what to do, I realize, once I start to let go of the fear and trust it. I relax, close my eyes, and savor the glorious feeling of the wind caressing my feathers, reveling in the warmth of the sun on my wings.

  Mah’ue comes to drift effortlessly beside me. He doesn’t have to turn his head to regard me with his outermost eye, watching my obvious delight with amusement.

  It is glorious, is it not? We cannot feel the true winds of your world, but the spirit-winds here are much like those on our home planet. Your sun, unfortunately, is much colder than our own, but the nutrients it provides in our range of perception are surprisingly similar, as well.

  I don’t understand what he means, but I smile and nod as I marvel at how small everything below us appears from this height.

  I promised you an explanation for your recent headaches, Mah’ue continues. I sense a spike of fear from him. Looking him in the eye, I brace myself for bad news.

  Your mind has been under attack by our mutual enemies. They seek to break down its natural defenses and take it over so they can control you and your abilities. I believe Mer’at, the leader of this group, is the ‘Dark Lady’ you’ve heard of. Now that I am aware of their attack, I can try to protect you, but there are too many of them, and eventually they will succeed, unless…

  He looks away, and the sense of apprehension from him grows. I take this moment to process what he has told me. Creatures from another planet are trying to take over my mind, and eventually they will succeed. My wings begin to shake uncontrollably, but immediately my terror begins to ease. Mah’ue must be syphoning it away. This only makes me feel more violated.

  Unless? I prompt him curtly, determined to know everything I can about what is happening to me.

  I don’t want you to think I am trying to trick you, Little Squirrel, he hedges nervously.

  Just tell me, I insist. All the joy I felt in my first flight is now gone.

  His mind gives the equivalent of a deep sigh.

  Unless you join with me first, he says at last, his eyes on the far horizon. Once one of us joins with a host, there is no room for another.

  I can see why he’s afraid I’ll think this a trick. This will greatly benefit him. I can’t fight the suspicion blooming in my heart, and don’t bother to try to hide it from him. How can I be sure he hasn’t been causing my headaches as an excuse to make this happen?

  He only nods in resignation.

  You have to understand that you and your friends are more vulnerable than most because of the Others I told you about. I have spoken with them. They were once human like you, but somehow they now inhabit the realm of pure spirit. They miss being human, so they choose one human each to ‘experience life through’, as they put it, and they chose you, your friend Spark, your brother, your father, and others you do not know. Because of their touch on your minds from birth, your natural defenses have been eroded, making you easy prey for our enemies.

  So, those I love are under attack as well. The thought of an alien consciousness taking over the minds of Artan, my heart-father, and yes, even that traitor Spark fills me with more dread than the prospect of my own apparently unavoidable fate. And how should I feel about these former humans who have been living through us, unknowingly making us vulnerable?

  But, he continues, they are also the reason you were able to defend yourselves against the human called Whisker. They gave you the ability to communicate with the animals. They have the ability to awaken latent talents within the unused portion of your brain, which your kind has up until now lost touch with—affinities with nature and ancient powers of the mind. They have asked us to help them defend you, and we will.

  I look around as if I might somehow catch a glimpse of these former humans out of the corner of my eye, then feel foolish. If they’re pure spiri
t, my poor eyes will never be able to detect them. But somehow, I don’t feel violated by their intrusion as I have by Mah’ue and his kind. Instead, I pity them. They were once human like me, but were somehow robbed of a life of their own. They’re welcome to share mine.

  But then I feel guilty. It’s not Mah’ue’s fault that he eats emotions, any more than it’s my fault that I eat meat. And he could have let his enemies take over my mind without getting involved, but he chose to show himself to me because he wants to help. Hasn’t he earned my friendship and my trust? Doesn’t he deserve my pity too, for the loss of his bond with the S’en and the loss of his planet? I saw what happened to his kind through his eyes and felt his deep, soul-searing loss as if it was my own.

  And I’ve always felt safe with him; I’ve sensed his goodness and honesty. Yet the thought of the privacy of my deepest thoughts and feelings being open to someone else fills me with great unease.

  If I do this—if I join with you—will you be able to see all of my most private thoughts, even if I don’t want you to? And will I be able to see yours?

  It isn’t like that, he replies. The joining, as I mentioned before, is sacred to us, except of course to those who have left all decency behind and embraced the madness Mer'at and her group have been spreading. We seek a relationship in which each being retains its own autonomy and sense of self while enjoying the benefits of uniqueness each has to offer the other.

  I look at him in confusion, and he tilts his head in thought.

  It is like how you live in a—what do you call it? A hut, yes. But pretend it is a hut with many rooms, with a door between each. You may be in one room while I am in another, and you may close the door for a time if you wish. I will respect that. Or we may enjoy one another’s company in the same room for a time.

  That doesn’t sound so intrusive, I muse, feeling reassurance wash over me. He senses my relief and continues.

  And we are very restless beings, always flying here or there, needing to replenish our stores of sunlight on occasion. During those times, you can have access to what I see and do, if you wish, and I will be able to see what you see and do; but our connection will be much weaker, allowing for more privacy, as you call it. We had no word for that concept before coming here, but have learned it in our long observance of your kind. I promise that I will respect your privacy when you want me to, Little Squirrel. It is not in our nature to force ourselves on anyone, though to our great grief and shame, some have lost that grace.

  I feel the truth of his words. It would be nice to never have to feel alone again, to have someone who will always be there to talk to. And he seems so wise—having lived for longer than I can possibly imagine, he can help me make decisions and encourage me. Of course, I might not have long to live anyway, if Whisker gets his way. So what do I have to lose, except my headaches and the chance of being taken over by a being who has no respect for my kind?

  One of the benefits I can offer you, he continues, is the ability to see through thousands of different eyes besides mine if you wish. The Na’e can choose to maintain a mental link with each other, and those who are of like mind with me are all linked in a mutual connection that I control, as their chosen leader. As my host, you would have access to it as well. I think it may prove useful to you in the days to come.

  Through his mind’s eye, I catch a glimpse of Miklos, striding through the forest surrounded by people I don’t recognize. For instance, some of my scouts are watching your heart-father. He has gathered a large group of fighters from Civitas Dei, and is leading them to your Village. Your friend Prairie Blossom is with them. They will arrive soon. Others are watching your former friend, Spark, who, along with Thunder Echo and Song at Sunrise, has left your Village to look for you.

  Spark is looking for me? Why? And Prairie Blossom is safe and with my heart-father; that’s a great relief. I’m not surprised to hear that Miklos is leading a force from Civitas Dei, though I wish I could send a message to him and divert him to come and save us. Of course, it wouldn’t be that easy, what with the knife always at Shy Mouse’s throat. If it were that easy, I would have allowed my animal allies to attack our enemies already.

  That reminds me—didn’t Mah’ue say he had a way to free us?

  Does your plan to free us require us to join first? I ask, still trying to get used to the idea.

  It does, he admits somewhat sheepishly. As I said, upon joining, we each benefit from the other’s abilities. I would be able to communicate with the nearby forest animals and, using much the same linked connection system that I use to keep in contact with my followers, I could coordinate a simultaneous attack that would confuse and overwhelm your enemy enough to allow you to escape. We can also attack their minds at the same time, causing the same pain and disorientation you have felt, to further catch them off guard. This is what I have in mind…

  He sends me an orderly and very detailed barrage of images. There are some aspects that need changing, but by the end, I feel real hope that we might get out of this alive.

  That could work! I exclaim, feeling jubilant. I dive straight down, then bank and catch a column of air, slowly circling upwards like I’ve seen eagles do countless times. I feel his approval and imagine how he and I could go flying every day once I’m free. I think about all the other things he could teach me from his long lifetime of adventures. All he asks of me in return is to feed from my negative emotions, which I don’t want anyway. I’d much rather let a friend inside my mind than be overcome by an enemy who will do who knows what with it.

  Maybe this is the ‘momenteous decision’ Bright Wing talked about, I muse. She said I must trust myself when that moment comes. I think I know what I must do, but how does this choice affect anyone else?

  Will it hurt? I ask somewhat plaintively. His eye catches mine, and I see sympathy there.

  Not if you don’t fight it, but your subconscious will try to protect itself no matter how open you try to be. Normally we take years to gain trust and slowly join with our host as it matures, but we don’t have the time for that now, unfortunately.

  Also, I have never attempted to join with a human before so I don’t know what to expect. I only know it’s possible because Mer'at and some of her followers have bragged about having done it. But I promise you, I will be as gentle as I can be, and once the joining is complete, your headaches will cease and we can put our plan into motion.

  I am ready, I say as bravely as I can. His side-eye searches mine for a long moment to be sure I mean it, and then he nods.

  Land on the cliff, and I will join you there. Do not fear me. I am your friend, and I want to help you.

  This will be my first landing. I circle, trying to remember how birds land. Don’t they flutter their wings in a controlled fall? Mah’ue sends me a vision of myself swooping up over the side of the cliff and then back-flapping to stop in midair before beating the air at my sides until my feet touch the ground. I give him a grateful smile and circle for my approach.

  The wind is blowing straight towards the cliff, so I won’t have to fight my way there. But it pushes me more than I realize. I come in too fast and flail in the air desperately, trying to stop myself from crashing into the trees just beyond the small clearing in front of the cliff. Fortunately, once again my wings seem to know what to do, and I land ungracefully but solidly just in front of the first trees.

  Mah’ue alights behind me. I Change back into human form, feeling most like myself in it, and walk over to him. He smoothes his magnificent, softly glowing wings back against his body, curling his long feathered tail around his legs.

  Can you please kneel in front of me so I can touch the top of your head?

  I hadn’t really noticed his upper appendages before. They’re small, short and unremarkable, each tipped with short claws at the ends of three small, finger-like digits. They, like the rest of him, are clothed in softly glimmering light.

  Wordlessly I kneel, my head coming up to his chest, and close my eyes, my hands cl
asped nervously in front of me. My heart is beating madly inside my chest, though once again Mah’ue has dulled my fear. I brace myself for his clawed touch but when it comes, it is gentle, almost a caress, just above my ears, with each innermost claw resting on my forehead.

  Picture your mind as a light-filled, dome-roofed home, with the door set into your forehead, his mind-voice instructs. The image forms—the soft, warm light, my hair the thatching on the domed roof, the door etched into my forehead, closed tight, keeping the light safe within.

  The light is your essence, your spirit—all that is you. I cannot change it or take from it in any way, nor would I ever try. Your light, your spirit, will always be separate from mine, and mine from yours. It is only your thoughts, emotions, what your senses detect and the messages your body sends to your mind about its position and state that I will be able to access.

  You are welcoming me into the home where your spirit resides. My spirit will rest next to yours—there is plenty of room for both of us—when I am with you, and to a lesser extent when I am away from you. This bond can only be broken with your death. No other may usurp it while you live.

  Open the door now and imagine my light joining yours. We will co-exist in mutual benefit and friendship until your spirit leaves this body to return to the One who made you.

  Somewhat reluctantly, though I have no other option, I imagine the door in my forehead slowly floating open, picturing the light inside flickering brightly, golden, like a candle flame. I imagine a second light floating down from Mah’ue’s head and moving toward mine. It’s awash in colors, just as his feathers are. Slowly, slowly it floats down until it hovers just in front of the open door.

  Try to keep your mind as open as possible, he murmurs. I will not force my way in. This has to be your choice and your will, or the bond will be incomplete.